I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
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