Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Randomize
