So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Randomize
