why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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