Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
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I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
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All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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