put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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