a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
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