Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Everclear isn't food dammit
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
