ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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