Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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