So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
