i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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