Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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