She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Are we still banned from the library?
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
