Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
