I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
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