I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
honey bunches of taint.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
