..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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