Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Randomize
