i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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