This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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