You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Randomize
