mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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