it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I believe in your delicious
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
