so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize
