I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
