i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
