This girl is more easily done than said...
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Randomize
