I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Randomize
