i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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