dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
