What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
