Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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