Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Randomize
