I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
