He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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