okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
