Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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