he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize
