We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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