Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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