omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize