ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize