if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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