haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
