It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Sorry my hands just texted you
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
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