he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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