You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
