i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize
