We're facebook friends in real life
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
i used baking grease as lip gloss
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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