these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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