Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
