Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
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