Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
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