In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
