I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize