I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
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