Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.

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(317): View more from Indiana

fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.

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(647): View more from Ontario

You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week

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(218): View more from Minnesota

No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.

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(303): View more from Colorado

im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival

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(913): View more from Kansas

I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.

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(260): View more from Indiana

Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that

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