I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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