direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Randomize
