she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
zippers are such a cool invention
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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