i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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