does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Randomize
