got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
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