Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Randomize
