the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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