Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize