i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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