You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
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