I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
